So, I've not been having a good time in life lately - but, at the same time, I've been learning so much more about God than  I've ever realized was truth. I've felt so complainy, so whiney, and so pathetic, the past week or so - I can hardly stand myself, but I feel more open to help and more open to oppinions from other people than I EVER have. 

I'm just getting to the point in my life where I not only WANT to fix my junk, I'm DOING something about it. I'm working towards a goal. I'm working to deal with and get over stuff that I haven't yet. So, with that being said...it seems like everything is being dumped on me at once. 

One thing I'm having to do now is deal with my Dads death. May will begin the sixth year since my Dads death and I still haven't dealt with it. I'm not sure how to do it - but, with that being said, I got back from my Christmas break about a week ago to find out after a few days that a good friend of mine, from back home, had passed away. Not only did he pass away, but the way he died was the EXACT same way my Dad died...it was a hard blow. I didn't quite know how to deal with it, but this situation has cause me to meditate on an extremely important piece of scripture.

28 And we know that God causes everything to work together^[a] for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. Romans 8:28

I've heard this verse all my life, but I've never really thought about it this much. God uses EVERYTHING for good. God can use a situation like the death of my Dad, or the death of my friend to reach so many people. God could have easily reached hundreds of people from those deaths - and honestly, I know He did. 

This week I've basically just learned not to be selfish in these kinds of situations.

Even though I was extremely upset with both situations, God used them to reach people through everyones pain.

I'd really appreciate you guys prayers.